It All Comes Back To This
by addieredd
Summary: Sequel to The Lost Girl. "...Even if we're sometimes a little dysfunctional, we're always there for eachother. And that's actually a rare thing. Because it's not just pretend, it's real. So this is the story about the second miscalculation on my parent's side and how it all came back to the same thing again. And how it got us closer, how it got us from pretend to real."
1. Prologue

_Prologue_

I think I was lucky. I am lucky. All my life, I had everything. I had a mother, a father, siblings, a home. I was loved. I am loved. I know some people who don't have all that. And I know I almost lost it over some stupid thing. Something really stupid. But then, there are always some people you can count on. Friends, family. I literally wouldn't exist without them. But I do. So when I asked my parents where my name came from, they told me that without that person I was named after, our lives would be completely different. But my dad always says that everything in life happens for a reason. I think he says that to make me feel better. To make us all feel better. I mean it's not like me and my siblings are taking it personally that we were basically all conceived by mistake, but deep down, it's a weird feeling, knowing that your own parents weren't initially planning on having you in their lives. Like you just 'happened'. That, maybe, there was a point in your life, where you were interfering in someone's life, without being invited to. Am I making sense? Probably not. Most people don't get that. But that's stuff I sometimes think about. The first time I told my parents about that, they assured me that I was very much wanted and appreciated. And I knew that. I really did. I still do. Yet, there is this feeling, this voice in the back of my head that sometimes tells me that I was not supposed to be there. I know, I know that sounds dark. But when you think about it… Anyways, I let my parents talk me into the whole 'everything happens for a reason' crap. I mean they are probably right, but sometimes, I'm just having a hard time seeing the reason in an event. That's all. My dad says he felt the same when he came back from the army, so I know that he gets me a little. Still, he is a lot different than me. He's… Tougher. I don't know how else to put it. I'm a mama boy. Always have been. Not that my mom isn't tough, hell she's probably the most hardcore person ever, but she always had a soft spot for me and my siblings. So I wasn't all that manly and tough. Big deal. It used to be a big deal at some point, because the other boys at my school mocked me for not getting into fights and having good grades. Kids. Stupid. But through all that my parents were there for me, and I am very grateful for that. And now, that I'm older, I think I understand it better. I realized that it wasn't all that bad, that my childhood was pretty amazing, and that I had the most loving family I could've asked for. Even if we're sometimes a little dysfunctional, we're always there for eachother. And that's actually a rare thing. Because it's not just pretend, it's real. So this is the story about the second miscalculation on my parent's side and how it all came back to the same thing again. And how it got us closer, how it got us from pretend to real.

**A/N: So this is the prologue to the first sequel of The Lost Girl. I hope you guys like it and it made you curious. Please be so kind and LEAVE A REVIEW!**


	2. Just Stress

**A/N: So, so sorry for the delay! But here is chapter one. I hope you'll enjoy it. I decided to pick up where I left off in The Lost Girl. It's easier with the storyline I have planned out. **

"Mom is daddy coming home with us?"

"Not yet honey. But he promised that he'll be there as soon as he can."

"Why not right now?"

"He has a job here. It's not like he can give it up immediately. Plus he can't give it up."

"Why can't he?"

"Well he needs a job doesn't he?"

"Yeah but I thought he was moving to Zurich…"

"Oh no he won't. We're moving back to Seattle. If that's okay with you of course."

"Wait what? When?"

"In the summer. I want you to finish elementary school first."

"Okay…"

"I know it's going to be a big change. But it's for our family. I mean, don't you want to be with your father?"

"I do. And I get why you would want to move back, your life is over there, but mine is here mom."

"I've lived here for ten years now, my life is here too."

"No it's not. You've barely made friends, you only have me. The people you really love and want to be with are all in Seattle. But my friends are all here. It's not that easy for me to just leave everything behind."

"Baby I know. But see it that way, you still have a few months left. You have time to prepare yourself. And it'll be fine. I promise."

"It's not like I have a choice."

"Olivia, will you stop being all teenagery please? We're just moving. We'll keep the house and go there for vacations and stuff okay?"

"Yeah whatever. It's fine."

Cristina opened the door to their house in Zurich. Olivia was pissed. She slipped through the door, took her shoes off and made her way to her room without a word. Cristina sighed. She had thought that Olivia would be thrilled. But apparently that wasn't the case. She got why Olivia didn't really want to go, but what did that all mean compared to finally having a real family? And it wasn't easy for Cristina either. Yet, she thought it was time to make a sacrifice for her relationship with Owen, otherwise it would just all be back to the same old fight again.

Cristina looked at the suitcases which were standing in the hallway. She was supposed to do the laundry. But not right now, not today. After the exhausting flight and the small dispute with Olivia she just wanted to lay down. She knew she had to call Ross though. He deserved to know as soon as possible. So she called him and asked him to come over. 15 minutes later he was standing in front of her door with a huge smile on his face.

"You look happy." Cristina stated.

"I am. May I come in?"

"Oh yeah sure, please."

They sat down on the sofa.

"So I guess you haven't had difficulties running my hospital?" she grinned at him.

"None whatsoever. But that's not why I am so happy."

"Wow. Okay what is it then?"

"Sylvia is pregnant." He almost couldn't contain his excitement when he told her that his girlfriend was expecting.

"Shane, oh my god, I am so happy for you. I didn't know you were trying."

"Oh no we weren't. It just happened. But I think it's a good thing. I never thought I wanted children, but when you had Olivia I knew it was possible. And I just hope my kid will be as amazing as Livie."

"Well Olivia is definitely one of the best things that happened to me." She smiled. She knew he wouldn't take the position of chief permanently. Not with a baby on the way.

"By the way, where is she?"

"In her room. She's mad at me."

"Why?" Ross was confused. What had happened in Seattle? Maybe she found out about Owen. That would be catastrophic for both Olivia and Cristina. Cristina sighed.

"That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about. We're moving back to Seattle."

"Wait what? Why?"

"That is a very long story which is hard to explain."

"I have time."

Cristina rolled her eyes. Of course she knew that she had to tell him eventually but she just didn't want it to be this soon. Deep inside she was still trying to deny it, at least a bit.

"Owen found out about Olivia."

"Are you serious? What did he say? What did Livie say? Oh my god what about his wife and child?"

"He was mad. Seriously mad. But eventually he accepted it and was, of course, happy about her. Olivia… Well… She was furious. And probably still is. She found out a lot about mine and Owen's past this week and I think it was a little much for her. As for his wife… She died, as did his son."

"Wow. I don't know what to say."

"I didn't know. I really didn't know. All this time I thought he was happy with his family. But that wasn't the case."

"You know that it's not your fault right?" Ross said, knowing that she would think that. Cristina chuckled.

"Everyone keeps saying that. But I can't completely shake off the feeling that if I had stayed none of it would've happened."

"Well that's probably right, key word being probably, but then you most likely wouldn't have had Livie and imagine what you would have missed."

"That's true. Anyway, now we're moving back to Seattle."

"Are you and Dr. Hunt a thing again? Sorry I had to ask."

"It's fine. I don't know though. I think so. Well we're trying again, mainly for Olivia's sake."

"That sounds like an excuse to me. You never stopped loving him, have you?"

Cristina smiled shyly and stared at the floor.

"No." she sighed again. "I guess I haven't." Ross smiled. He knew how much his mentor had been missing the love of her life. He couldn't help but being excited for her, mainly because he had become a romantic over the past couple of years.

"Just one more question – what about the Institute? I kind of need my job."

"I'm keeping it. I'm just going to extend it to the US."

"So who's going to take over here for you?"

"I was going to ask you." She looked up and looked in his eyes. She could see how torn he was. One part of him wanted to take the job so badly but the other knew now wasn't the right time. He was about to have a family of his own, he couldn't spare the time.

"It's okay Shane. I get it. Family comes first."

"I really want to. I just can't…"

"I know." She took his hand and squeezed his hand. There had been a time when she had thought that he was exactly like her. But the she discovered that deep down he was much softer than he let her know. She knew that, apart from what he kept saying, family would come first for him, and she admired that.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay. It's okay to choose. And you made the right choice."

"You think?"

"I _know _you did."

"Thank you Cristina." She smirked. She really couldn't blame him, but right now, she had no idea who would take over for her. She felt like Ross was the only one capable of doing that job. Now she had no one.

"You're welcome."

That moment a tiny creature appeared in the doorframe. When Shane spotted her he jumped up, ran towards her and swept her off her feet. She screamed with a laugh.

"Hello princess. I heard you had quite a week. How are you?" He asked Olivia.

"I'm okay Uncle Shane. Has mom told you that we're moving back to the US?"

"She has. I'm going to miss you so much."

"Are you taking over the Institute now?" Livie asked with a serious face.

"No I'm not. Sadly."

Olivia turned towards her mother.

"I thought you were going to ask him?"

"I did ask him. He just turned me down."

She looked back at Ross.

"Why?"

"Because I'm going to be a Dad soon and I want to be there for my baby."

"But Mom was chief too and was still there for me." Olivia said frowning.

"Yeah but I'm not as badass as your mom."

"True." Cristina said.

"So who is taking over for you mom?"

"I don't know yet."

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"Mom we have to leave or I'll be late for school."

No answer.

"Mom!"

Cristina stepped out of the bathroom looking pale.

"Would you mind taking the bus today? I think I'm going to stay home today."

"Are you okay?" Olivia asked concerned. Hell would freeze over before Cristina Yang would call in sick.

"Yeah I'm fine. Just all the stress from finding a replacement for me."

"Alright. Well go easy on those guys. They can't all be you."

Cristina let out a laugh. She was definitely Owen's daughter.

"I've heard that before." She chuckled. "Now go or you'll really be late."

"Bye Mommy."

Cristina kissed her on the cheek and waved her goodbye. They had been back in Zurich for over a month now and her daughter seemed to finally accept the fact that they were moving to a different continent at the end of school year. The deal with Seattle Pres was already sealed and the only thing she had to still figure out was her replacement as chief.

She sat down on the bathroom floor. Her head was spinning. Her body had never handled that kind of stress well. She remembered she had a skype date with Owen in about thirty minutes. Damn it, she thought. She stood up and looked into the mirror. But as soon as she was on her feet a wave of nausea hit her. She emptied her stomach over the toilet bowl. What had she eaten? Nothing suspicious came to her mind. Was there a bug going around the hospital? Not that she knew of. It must really be the stress, she told herself. But there was this other feeling in the pit of her stomach that told her it wasn't. She cleaned herself up as well as she could and took a seat in front of her laptop.

She didn't have to wait long until her phone started buzzing. It was a text from Owen.

_Bad time?_

She texted back, smiling.

_Not at all – already waiting._

Only seconds later his call appeared on the screen.

"Hey there." She said, trying to act as normal as she could.

"Hi." He stared at the wall behind her.

"What?" She chuckled.

"Are you at home? I thought you'd be at the hospital."

"Oh yeah no, I'm not feeling best, so I decided to stay home. They'll handle a day without me."

"What are your symptoms?" Owen asked alarmed. He had always been like that when she would say she wasn't feeling well.

"Owen I'm fine. Just worn out by all the stress of finding a damn replacement so that I can come back to you." She frowned.

"You know no one forced you to come back."

"No you just built the firehouse out of candles and asked me to be with you while our friends were watching. But no, no one forced me." She said a little pissed off.

"You don't have to if you don't want to." He said a little confused. Right now he wasn't sure if this was just her usual whining or if she really had doubts.

"Damn it no. I want to. Plus I think Olivia is finally okay with it."

"Okay. Good."

"Are _you _okay?" So much for acting normal, she thought.

"I'm great. Apart from the fact that I haven't seen you or Olivia in almost two months. I miss you."

"We miss you too." He could only see her face so she put one hand on her stomach under the table. Please, please this can't be happening, she screamed in her head.

"You sure you're okay?" He asked, because judging by the expression on her face, she wasn't.

"I told you I'm fine. I'm just going to go lay down for a while." She said, trying to smile.

"Okay then… Take care of yourself. I'll be there as soon as possible I promise." He said.

"I will. Bye."

"Bye."

With that his face disappeared from the computer screen. She took a deep breath, her hand still resting on her belly. It just couldn't be. She could slap herself for being so irresponsible. But it was just stress. Yes, just stress.

**A/N: Thanks for reading! Please be so kind and LEAVE A REVIEW!**


	3. Nightmares

"Are you okay? You don't really look well."

"I'm fine."

"Cristina…" Meredith looked at her friend's face curiously through the computer screen.

"Mer I'm fine."

"The scale goes…"

"Stop it. Everything is okay. Nothing is wrong." Cristina cut off her best friend.

"Why don't I believe you?"

"Because you're a curious gossip?"

"Curious yes, gossip, no. I kept your daughter a secret for like ten years."

"And then she visits you alone and all that falls to crap. Great job, really."

"You're not seriously going to pick a fight over this? I mean you and Owen worked it out after all. Or what did you guys do during that night in the on – call room? Not really talking if I remember correctly."

"I'm not picking a fight I just… You know what, forget it."

"Come on Cristina I was kidding. Though the on – call room part was true."

Cristina buried her face in her hands. Stupid, she thought. Idiotic, irresponsible.

"Will you just tell me what's wrong?" Meredith inquired.

"No. I need to do things right this time. I need to make it up to him."

"This time? What on earth are you talking about?"

"I'll tell you when I'm ready."

"I hate you."

"You love me."

"I'm just glad you're going to come back."

"Well if I can find a replacement."

"You really can't find anyone?"

"Seems like it. Apparently no one wants to be chief of a very prestigious research hospital."

"Right now I hate Ross for getting his girlfriend pregnant." Meredith chuckled.

"I know. I'm happy for him though. He's great with Olivia and he was always there for me during my la – my pregnancy with her."

"Cristina are you…?"

"Shut it Mer. I tell you when I'm ready. Like I said." Of course Meredith would connect the dots. She had a thing for dots. But the final dot wasn't confirmed yet, so maybe she was wrong. Although Cristina knew deep in her heart she wasn't.

"Okay I gotta run pick up Livie from school. Talk to you later?"

"Alright. And Cristina – "

"What?"

"Just get it over with. You'll feel better."

And with that Meredith's face disappeared from the screen of her iPad. She sighed. Mer was right. She just had to get it over with. But she wanted to know if she was happy about it or not before she found out for sure. And right now, she wasn't sure.

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"How was your day?" Cristina asked as her daughter opened the door of the car.

"Fine. Frau Müller said she was sad that I was moving but told me she was happy you got back together with Dad." Olivia grinned.

"You told her that?" She said a little concerned. She didn't want everyone to know the reason for their move.

"Well shouldn't I have?" Olivia asked confused. Why would she not tell her teachers?

"No it's fine. Just don't tell the whole story okay?"

"What whole story?"

"You know everything that happened to your dad. And me. No one needs to know that."

"Okay."

"So when's daddy gonna come here? You said he'd stay with us until we move."

"I know. He'll be here soon. I hope." Secretly she wished that he would take his time. She longed for him, sure, but she still needed a little time to herself to realize and accept everything that was happening. She pulled into the driveway. She opened the door and immediately felt that something was different. She grabbed her daughter's arm and stopped her from going upstairs.

"What?" Livie asked.

"Something's wrong. Someone's here."

"What are you talking about? No one's here."

"Just stay with me okay." She whispered. Olivia rolled her eyes in annoyance but did as she was told. Cristina silently walked to the living room, Olivia behind her. She peeked around the corner and saw a tall, red haired man smiling at her. She let out a relieved breath.

"Owen what on earth are you doing here?" She said as she stood up straight in the doorframe. Olivia peeked out behind her mother and as she saw her father she immediately ran towards him. Owen scooped her up and whirled her around in his strong arms.

"Hey princess how are you doing?"

"Great. We were just talking about you."

"Really? What were you talking about?"

"I was wondering when you would finally get here. Mom said she didn't know."

"Why didn't you tell me that you were coming? I would've picked you up at the airport."

"Meredith said you were acting a little odd during your skype session yesterday and you were a little off when I talked to you too, so I thought I'd surprise you and come here. Meredith gave me her key."

"Well I'm definitely surprised." She said, still a little shocked. How the hell was she going to hide it in front of him?

"You don't look so good. Everything alright?" He asked with concern in his voice.

"Yeah, no I'm fine." She said shaking her head. She was feeling nauseous again.

"You sure?" He asked, Livie still in his arms.

"She's been throwing up for the last week or so. Maybe she has food poisoning." Olivia said wisely. Cristina glared at her. Why did children always have to blur everything out? Owen looked at her curiously.

"I had a really bad spring roll last week and I think it really took a toll on my stomach. I'm not the youngest anymore." She faked a smile.

"Uh huh." Owen just said, hoping that he read all the signs right and it wasn't food poisoning.

"Anyways, I need to go to the hospital real quick. Are you okay with her?" They both nodded. "Okay. I'll be back in an hour or so. Food is in the fridge. I hope. If not, just ask Olivia to order something, I know German isn't really your strong suit." She smirked. Owen chuckled.

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"Ross I need you for a sec please." She said as she grabbed her favorite attending by the arm.

"Okay… What can I do for you?" He asked confused. It usually wasn't her style to just grab him and drag him into an empty on – call room.

"I need you to do an ultrasound." She just blurted out. She figured it was best to just rip off the bandage.

"Why? I'm busy. Can't you do it yourself?" Now he was completely lost. Why would she drag him in here and ask him to do an ultrasound, something she was very much able to do herself.

"No, god damn it. I can't do an ultrasound on myself."

"What? Is everything okay? Is something up with your heart?"

She took a deep breath. He was extra slow today.

"Shane. Are you just acting stupid or are you actually a moron?"

"I'm kinda confused right now…"

"I can see that. My heart is fine. I need you to do an ultrasound on my uterus because I might be pregnant."

"Oh. Oh. Okay."

"Can we go now please? I don't have all day." She said gesturing towards the door.

When she laid down on the table he looked at her incredulously.

"Can we just please get it over with." She said as she pulled up her shirt. He put the gel on her flat stomach, followed by the wand. She closed her eyes. Seconds later she heard a steady heartbeat fill the room. A tear rolled down her face. Her life had become a nightmare. At least that was what it felt like in that moment.

"Damn it. Damn it." She whispered.

Shane wasn't quite sure what to say.

"So everything looks fine. Even though I'd suggest you go see an actual OB…"

"Okay." He sensed that she wasn't exactly happy.

"I take this wasn't deliberate."

She chuckled. No, it definitely wasn't. Her pregnancies never were.

"Do you want to talk about options…?" He asked carefully. She had once told him that she wanted a brother or sister for Olivia, but she didn't seem to want that right now.

"No." She just said, remembering having the exact same conversation with Lucy a very long time ago. Would she ever know what she wanted? Would she ever be sure? She sat up and looked at Shane.

"I printed you a picture." He said quietly, handing it to her. She took it, tears dwelling up in her eyes.

"Thank you." She whispered, her voice sounding rough.

"Not a problem. Oh and if you need to talk, you know I'm here."

"I know."

He left the room and she just sat there staring at the picture in her hand. She tried not to cry. How was this happening? Again. She was just so stupid. Admittedly she had taken a chance, again, but she should've known by now that when she took a chance it always ended the same way. Now she had to face the consequences, again. Would she tell Owen? Who was she kidding, she had to. She wished she had a choice, but deep down she knew she didn't.

She put a hand on her stomach.

"You just had to take up residence in _my _uterus, hadn't you?" She told her baby. Sometimes she wished she would have a hostile uterus too, but she pushed those thoughts away immediately, knowing that nothing good would come from that. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

She carefully unlocked the door to her house. It was pretty late already. She entered the house and it was completely silent. She took off her shoes, hug up her coat and tossed her bag and key on the little table next to the door. She walked towards the living room.

She smiled. Owen's arm was around Olivia and they were both asleep on the couch. Surprisingly, Olivia was already dressed in her pajamas and was all curled up on Owen's lap. She saw the open DVD of Livie's favorite TV show on the floor. The TV was still on, though the volume was almost on silent. She switched it off. She looked at them. It was a beautiful image, a daughter in her father's arms. She didn't want to disturb the peacefully sleeping couple so she decided to clean up the kitchen, to find it already cleaner than it had ever been. Clearly, Owen had had his hands in on this. She went back into the living room and decided to carry her daughter up to her room.

She scooped her into her arms and Olivia immediately wrapped her arms around her mother's neck. Cristina, careful not to wake her, carried her up the stairs and put her down on the bed. She covered her with a blanket, planted a kiss on her forehead and quietly closed the door behind her.

Cristina walked down the stairs to find Owen wandering around, probably looking for his daughter.

"Hey." She whispered.

He whirled around and stared at her. She knew that stare. She had seen it before. A very long time ago, during a very dark night in her old apartment she had shared with Callie. It made her freeze at the spot. He started running towards her and she knew. She knew he wasn't awake. She knew he was having a nightmare. Before she could run or even move he reached her and pressed her against the wall, so rough she couldn't breathe for a second.

"Owen." She managed to say. "Owen wake up, please." She tried kicking him and used her hands to push him away but of course he was stronger. Suddenly a noise on top of the stairs took away his attention. Olivia was standing there watching her father with terrified eyes. He let Cristina go for a second. She used it wisely to slip away and run upstairs, grabbing Olivia locking her into the bathroom. Owen had followed her and when she turned around she slapped him as hard as she could. Suddenly the stare in his eyes disappeared and he came back to her. She sighed in relief. He was breathing heavily. She hugged him.

"You're okay. It was just a nightmare. Everything's fine." She said nuzzling into his chest.

"Wha – Cristina what happened?" He asked confused. He heard Olivia sobbing behind the door.

"You just had a nightmare. I was too slow to react I'm sorry." She told him almost apologizing.

"Did I hurt you? Did I hurt Olivia?" He asked very quietly.

"A little. She just saw how you almost strangled me. Again."

"Cristina. I'm –"

"I know. You weren't awake. But you are now."

He just looked at her with the most apologizing, sad eyes she had ever seen.

"Since when are you having nightmares again?" She finally asked.

"I don't know… I just… I just never cared because it didn't really threaten anyone."

"It threatens you." She said seriously.

"When I found out about Olivia I started seeing a shrink again. That's why it took me so long to get here. I wanted to make sure I was okay. That I wouldn't hurt either of you. But apparently…"

"Stop it okay. I know you're trying. And it'll be alright. I just need to talk to Livie. She's probably scared out of her mind."

"No. Let me talk to her."

"You sure?"

"Yes."

Cristina turned around and opened the door to the bathroom. Olivia was sitting in the bathtub, shaking.

"Baby…" Cristina said as she pulled her into a hug. "He just had a nightmare. It's a thing form the war but he's getting better okay. He's trying for us."

"Did he want to kill us?" She asked her eyes wide in shock.

"No. No of course not. He was asleep. He didn't know what he was doing." She pressed her daughter close to her chest to let her feel that she was there for her. "He wants to talk to you." Olivia stared at her mother as if she was out of her mind.

"I'll stay if that makes you feel more comfortable." She suggested. Olivia nodded. Cristina called for Owen. He entered, looking so guilty that it ripped her heart apart.

"Livie I'm so sorry for scaring you." He said reaching out for her but she just shrunk back into her mother's arms. He knelt down in front of the bathtub. Cristina gave him an encouraging smile.

"I didn't want to hurt you, I promise. I was dreaming that someone had taken you away. I was looking for you. And I didn't recognize your Mom in the dark so I thought she had taken you away from me. I finally got to know you and I thought you were gone again. I… I thought I had lost you, when I had just found out about you. I panicked. I wouldn't have hurt you. I promise."

Cristina knew that he was telling the truth. And it broke her heart. Someone had taken her away. He wasn't wrong. She had taken her away from him. It was her fault. She had deserved it. She started to cry. Owen took her face into his hands and kissed away the tears and whispered and apology into her ear. She grabbed his hand and squeezed it.

They sat there like this for a while. Cristina and Owen's hands entwined and Olivia nuzzled into her mother's chest, still looking scared. All three were crying. But it wasn't a sad kind of crying. It was a healing kind of crying.

**A/N: Long chapter. I hope you liked it. And PLEASE LEAVE A REVIEW so that I know people are actually reading this. Thank you.**


	4. Superheroes

She woke up to the smell of eggs and bacon. That delicious smell she hasn't smelled in years because she was way too lazy to cook in the morning. But as she got up she felt her stomach turn. She pressed one had on her mouth and one hand on her stomach and ran to the bathroom.

God damn it Owen, she thought.

After she felt save to stand up again without throwing up, she made her way down to the kitchen where she saw Owen standing. Alone. She saw the table was set beautifully with everything a perfect breakfast needed. Orange juice, milk, cereal, donuts, croissants, bread, butter, jam, honey, fresh fruit, and coffee.

Damn it Owen, she thought again.

How was she going to explain that she couldn't drink coffee? She thought of just telling him that she didn't drink coffee anymore but that would be a lie and Olivia would surely tell on her. She looked at the deep red flowers that were standing in a vase in the middle of the table. She had no idea what kind of flowers they were but they were beautiful. He must feel really bad. But that didn't surprise her. She thought about hugging him from behind, but given the circumstances of the night before she decided that it was better to let her presence be known by simply clearing her throat.

To her relief he turned around slowly and calmly and smiled when he saw her standing in the doorway, admiring everything he had done.

"You know I don't think my kitchen has ever looked that pretty before." She smiled and stepped closer.

"You do have a beautiful kitchen. You should use it more." He grinned and turned his attention back to the eggs and bacon.

"How would you know?" She said, now standing next to him.

"How would I know what?"

"That I don't use my kitchen."

He gave her a look as if he was saying 'I lived with you for five years I know that you can barely tell a frying pan from a pot,'

"Oh come on. That was ages ago."

"So you're telling me you cook here every day."

"I never said that. I don't cook every day, but I do cook."

"You better. You have a kid. They need healthy food." He said in a serious tone. She raised her brows.

"Well she hasn't died yet so I must have done something right." Owen stared at her in disbelief. Did she really just say that? When Cristina realized what she had said her mouth dropped open and she started to apologize.

"Owen you know I didn't mean that. I wasn't trying to…"

"I know. I know it's fine."

"Owen I'm so sorry."

"It's fine." He grunted. She didn't know what to say, all of it was suddenly so awkward. She looked at her watch. It was almost ten.

"I'm gonna go wake Olivia up." She whispered.

She went upstairs and knocked at her daughter's door. There was no response. She went in and looked at her peacefully sleeping daughter for a while. Her wild dark curls were spread on the pillow around her, her full lips were slightly open and her thick eyelashes fluttered a little but remained closed. She looked like a little angel. How did I deserve you, Cristina whispered and sat down on her bed.

Cristina just sat there, thinking. She let her hand travel along her daughter's face and she knew she was one of the biggest blessings in her life. Olivia's eyelids fluttered open and she looked at her mother with her tired, big brown eyes.

"Morning sleepyhead." Cristina said smiling. "Daddy made breakfast."

"I don't want to get up." She said burying her face in her pillow. Cristina chuckled.

"If you're not getting up by yourself, I'll have to tickle you awake." She threatened. No movement. "Don't say I didn't give you a choice." She said as she started tickle the little girl in front of her until she was laughing so hard that she almost fell out of the bed.

"Okay, okay I'm getting up." Olivia said trying to catch her breath. She took her mother's hand and they both walked down the stairs.

"Wow." Olivia said staring at the table. "Mom, why have I never had a breakfast like this?"

"You have." Cristina said a little grumpy. Of course Owen's breakfast would steal her attention.

"Yeah in a five – star hotel in Paris. But not at home."

"I'm sorry that cooking was secondary to saving lives. I'm just a career girl." She stated with a bitter grin.

"Is everything okay between you two?" Livie asked her parents, sensing the distance between them.

"Yes of course, why wouldn't it be?" Cristina said as she ruffled Olivia's hair. "Now go sit down enjoy your breakfast."

They all sat down on the chairs around the round table which was placed in an equally round space surrounded by huge windows. The view was spectacular. You could see down on Zurich because the house was on a hill and the Swiss Alps made it picturesque.

"It's beautiful here." Owen stated.

"Yeah I know. I'm amazed every day." Cristina said smiling.

"So what are we going to do today?" Olivia inquired.

"I don't know. I'll probably have to go to the hospital for a bit."

"Mom! Can't we just have a family day or something?"

"Olivia it'll be just for a few hours."

"You always say that and then you're there for almost the whole day."

Owen raised his eyebrows at the dispute of his daughter with her mother. He had a feeling that this wasn't the first time they had that discussion. He decided to step in.

"Okay how about you take Livie and me with you when you go and she can show me Zurich a little and we'll meet up later? How does that sound?" Cristina smiled thankfully at Owen.

"That sounds like a nice plan, don't you think Olivia?" Olivia wasn't sure what to say. Before yesterday she would've been all for it, but now she had to admit that she was a little afraid of her father. She would never say that in front of him of course. But she figured that being alone with him was safer around people so she nodded yes.

"Perfect then." Cristina smiled, trying to ignore the fact that one could definitely see that Olivia wasn't completely comfortable with being alone with Owen due to the events of the previous night. She looked over at Owen and knew that he had noticed it too. And it stabbed them both in their hearts.

XXXXXX

"Okay you two have a good day. I'll call when I'm finished." Cristina told them as they parted ways in front of the hospital.

"Thanks you too." Owen said and gave her a kiss on the cheek. She shivered under his touch and his lips stayed there a little longer than necessary.

She smiled and walked in.

"So now what?" Olivia asked her dad who was staring at Cristina walking away. "Hey!" She deliberately avoided the word 'Dad' it just didn't feel right yet. She had thought about saying it but decided to go with a 'hey' because she wasn't ready. And she felt like he wasn't either.

"Sorry honey what did you say?" he asked pulling his thoughts away from Cristina's butt.

"What are we going to do now?" she repeated herself a little annoyed.

"Uh how about we walk around a little and maybe do some shopping and get ice cream?" He suggested.

"Sure."

They walked next to each other in awkward silence, neither of them knew what to say. Last night had been so much easier before all of the drama had happened. He was funny and loving and a great father. Today… It seemed different. He was tense. Or maybe she was. Probably both were.

She thought about what her mother had said. That he was trying. That they should give him a chance and help him. But it wasn't that easy. She had seen him almost strangle her mother. That's not something you forget. Still, she knew that everyone deserved a second chance, after all she was her mother's second chance. So she just took his hand. As if it was the most natural thing in the world, she just took it.

He squeezed it but continued walking. He had heard Cristina talking to her yesterday. He remembered something about second chances. She knew that was that. His daughter was giving him a second chance. She was trying too.

After that everything seemed easier. They started talking and laughing. They walked by a lot of little stores in the old town of Zurich and one of them had children's wear. Owen caught Olivia staring at a pretty red dress. He smiled.

"You want to try it on?" He asked her.

She nodded smiling at him. He took it and guided her to the changing rooms. When Olivia stepped out it took Owen's breath away. She was beautiful, the spitting image of her mother.

"You look amazing." He said smiling at his beautiful daughter. His daughter. He still couldn't really believe it.

"Thank you." She grinned.

They bought the dress and went on to buy some ice cream. Olivia got her favorite – vanilla. She said that it was the simplest, yet the best. He got chocolate. They sat down on the fountain in the middle of the street.

"It's really nice here."

"I know. I'm very lucky to live here. Or to have lived here." She said looking a little sad.

"You don't want to move, do you?"

"It's not that… This is my home you know. For me, this is all I've ever known. I know that Mom's home is and will always be Seattle, but for me… This is my home. It's not that easy to let go of."

Owen stared at her and he knew she was right. He had never thought about it that way. For Cristina, it was coming back to her home, but for Olivia it would change everything. Another language, new friends, school, different money, a completely different culture. He wrapped one arm around her and held her close.

"You're right. I'm sorry."

XXXXXX

"Apparently you two had a good time." Cristina said judging by their laughing faces as she approached them.

"Fabulous." Olivia stated grinning.

"Okay good. Glad to hear. Mine was mostly paperwork and telephone conversations with possible candidates to take over." She sighed.

"If it makes you feel any better, I'm going to make pizza tonight." Owen said taking her hand as they walked to the car. She looked at the grocery bag in his hand.

"You're amazing. I'm starving."

"Well you'll need to be patient. I need to make it first." He kissed her on top of her head and Olivia jumped around them happily.

When they arrived home, Cristina excused herself and went upstairs to take a bath while Olivia decided to help Owen with the pizza.

She undressed herself and turned on the water. She stopped for a second when she saw herself in the full – length mirror which was standing in the corner of the bathroom. She put the palm of her hand on her stomach.

"Hi." She whispered. "I'm your Mommy. And I would really appreciate if you could stop making me sick all the time. Your sister was a lot better about that. I really hope you're a boy and look like your Daddy." She shook her head at her own silliness. She had to tell Owen. She just hadn't figured out how. She wanted it to be special this time.

When she got out of the tub and walked downstairs she could already smell the pizza. She stopped, expecting to get sick, but to her surprise she didn't. Thank you, she told her baby inside her head.

"Look who looks alive again." Owen said pointing at Cristina who made a face.

"Mommy! Pizza is almost ready."

"It smells delicious baby. You did a good job."

Owen took the pizza out of the oven and placed it on the table. Everyone ate until they were completely full.

"Thanks you two. This was delicious."

Olivia smiled proudly. Owen ruffled her hair.

"I believe it's bedtime now." Cristina said giving her daughter a knowing look.

"Mom please just a little longer."

"No. Plus stop trying to fool yourself. You look like you're going to fall asleep any minute."

"I have to agree with your mother on that." Owen said seriously. She did look very tired.

"Fine." She said as she stomped up the stairs loudly.

"I had hoped it would take longer for puberty to kick in." Cristina sighed. Owen chuckled.

"You go get her ready for bed. I'll clean up the kitchen." He said. She stood up and kissed him on the lips. Slowly and intense.

"How did I deserve that?" He asked in a fake surprised tone.

"Thank you. For everything." Well almost everything, she thought.

"You're welcome."

Olivia was asleep in a matter of seconds. Cristina had barely started her goodnight story about her patient with Shone's complex from last week and she was already sound asleep. Cristina eased herself off the bed and went back downstairs to Owen. Now was her chance to tell him.

"Wow that was quick." He said.

"Yeah, she was really tired." Cristina smiled at Owen and put one hand on his cheek.

"What?" He asked with a confused smile.

"Nothing…" She said, her voice trailing off a little.

"What is it? I know something's up." He asked as he stepped back.

"Can you sit down for a second?" She asked.

"Why?"

"Just do it." He sat down. She walked towards her bag and fished out the ultrasound picture from the other day. She had written something on the backside. She put it on the desk with the with side up.

"_Some people don't believe in heroes, but they haven't met my Dad."_

He read what was on there. He was touched but a little confused. It was cute that she would write something like that, but the piece of paper didn't really fit. She saw his confusion and smiled.

"Turn it around." She simply said. He did as he was told and when he realized what it was he stared at Cristina in awe.

"Cristina…" His words failed him. She took his hand and put in on her stomach.

"Congratulations, superhero."

He couldn't help but grab her and pull her into a long passionate kiss that would lead to so much more.

**A/N: I tried to make this as cute as I could and this is the best I came up with. I hope you enjoyed it. LEAVE A REVIEW to make me happy. Thank you.**


	5. It's Complicated

**A/N: So there's going to be a lot of heart to heart stuff in this chapter, just because I can haha. Hope you'll enjoy.**

"Should we get married again?"

"What?"

"I don't know… I just think it's… The proper thing to do."

"The proper thing to do?"

"Yeah. I mean given your situation and everything."

"_My _situation?"

"Our. Our situation."

"Are you happy about it?"

"What? Why wouldn't I be?"

"Because you keep calling it a situation."

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to… Just forget it."

"Owen…" she said as he got out of the bed and walked to the bathroom.

"Yes?" He asked a tiny bit annoyed.

"You know it's not like I'm thrilled about this either."

"Who said I wasn't thrilled?"

"Oh please. Your actions speak for themselves. When I told you, you were so… happy. And now you're not and I'm just really confused right now." She stated with teary eyes. Damn hormones. He paused for a second and looked at her. She looked scared. But she had no idea that he was even more scared inside.

"Owen please." She pleaded as he just stared at her. He took a deep breath.

"Honestly?" he asked looking at the floor.

"Yes, Owen, honestly."

"You're right. I was happy. I was beyond thrilled but then I… I realized what this means. For us. I'm not saying I don't want this child, because I really, really do. Having a family with you, that was the dream. It still is the dream."

"Then what's the problem?" she asked, seeing the sadness and hurt in his eyes.

"Over the past decade, I was working on accepting that it would always be a dream. I tried to move on. I did, not really, but I pretended to. And now… Now it's not a dream anymore. It's real. And I can't believe it is. You'd think that that's a good thing, but the more I keep thinking about it, it's not. My life… Is a mess. I'm a mess. And you and Olivia and this baby", he gestured towards her stomach, "deserve so much better. They shouldn't be afraid of their father. It's not fair to them. Olivia is a big girl, she can defend herself or run away or something, but this unborn child… It's innocent. And if something happens… When something happens… I won't be able to forgive myself. They deserve better. You deserve better."

"Okay you stop it right there and listen to me. You won't hurt them, or me. Do you hear me? You won't. And you want to know why? Because you're their dad. And you love them. They can feel that. I know that after what happened last week you're afraid, but you'll get better. Plus we still have seven and a half months to get you back on track." She smiled. He sat back down on the bed and took her hand into his. They sat like this for a while until he pulled her into a hug.

"Thank you. Thank you." He whispered.

"You're welcome. Plus I need there to be at least one of us to be sure and happy about this because you're right, they deserve it." He pulled away and looked at her quizzically.

"So you're not happy." It was more of a statement than a question. She looked at him and she knew that he had figured it out way before.

"Well… I mean I have Olivia so I can't just say I'm not going to have this kid, but the timing is more than off. Like you said, it's complicated."

"Yeah it is, but we can make it work. We will make it work. Right?"

"Right." She said, her voice rather hesitant.

"I'm not convinced." He shook his head.

"I'm not either. But I doubt that I'll ever be sure or convinced so whatever. Pushing through."

"Cristina that is not the best kind of attitude for motherhood." She just chuckled.

"Right now, it's the only attitude I have. It will get better, but for right now this is all I have." She said as she jumped off the bed and walked towards the bathroom. He followed her.

"So you're saying you don't want to do this?"

"Do what?" She said leaning against the sink.

"This. Us. A family. Me, you, Olivia and this baby in Seattle. You're 'pushing through'. Hoping that – what? That it'll just stop? Parenthood never stops Cristina." She was staring at herself in the mirror listening to Owen talk. She turned around furiously.

"Don't you think I know that? Do you really believe that I think it's a responsibility for eighteen years and then everything will go back to normal? I wish it was that easy. So no. I don't want it. My life would be so much easier if it was just me. But it's not. And I accepted that. I learned to live with that. Olivia and I… We worked perfectly. I'm not saying that I don't love you, because I do, more than anything, I'm just saying that this isn't the life I wanted. Yet, I'm living it. I need time to come to terms with it okay?"

"Cristina I never asked you to…"

"I know you didn't. I know it's my fault, at least partially, but I never pictured this life for myself. And you know that. And I know that you think that you never asked me to give up anything, hell you even let me go just so that I can be happy, but then you get me pregnant, again, and I had to do it alone. I know I technically didn't have to, but I chose to do what I thought was right. And it almost broke me. But I survived. I kept it together. I pushed through. I came out stronger. I learned that I was capable of taking care of a baby, of loving a baby, and still have a career. I'm not saying it was easy, because it wasn't, it was hell at some points, and it did set me back a couple of years, but I did it anyway. So I know I can do it again, but I need to get all my strength together and focus. Because that's the only way I can do this okay?!" She glared at him with tears streaming down her face. She knew it hurt him to hear that but in that moment, she just didn't care. He looked at her intently.

"You're not alone this time." He held out his and for her to take and she broke down sobbing in his arms.

XXXXX

"_Dr. Yang, can you please come to your office?"_

"_Ross, what is it?"_

"_Olivia… She's really fussy and I think she needs you for… You know. I know I promised I'd be here and help, but there's a point where…"_

"_It's fine Shane, really. I'll be there in a few. And I deeply appreciate everything you're doing for me."_

"_Not a problem. Oh and there's something else."_

"_What?" Cristina was immediately alarmed. She already felt bad leaving her three month old with Ross for almost the whole day, except for a few short breaks. _

"_I think she might have a fever but I'm not sure."_

"_How are you not sure? You're a doctor. Just take her temperature."_

"_I will, just… Can you please get back here?"_

"_I'm already on my way." She said as she made her way back to her office as fast as she could. _

_When she reached the door she took a deep breath. She always did that to switch her 'mode' as she called it. There was 'Dr. Yang', there was 'Cristina' and now there was 'Mommy'. The last one, and newest one, was the most difficult. She didn't know why, but she just didn't feel 100% comfortable with her latest role. Though, she was slowly getting used to it. She stepped inside and saw Ross carrying a tiny, dark – haired baby around the office. The baby seemed to have stopped crying for the moment, but she could still see the tears in her little eyes. _

"_Look who's here." Shane cooed at the baby. "It's your Mommy. Now you can stop making a fuss." He smiled as he handed her the baby._

"_Hello baby girl. I'm sorry I couldn't be here earlier but I'm sure Uncle Ross was taking very good care of you." She told Olivia as she sat down on her sofa._

"_She was sleeping for a while and when she woke up she just wouldn't stop crying. I tried everything that usually works but no luck. Not even singing."_

"_Singing?" Cristina asked confused. _

"_Yeah that's the newest thing. Always worked, until today."_

_Cristina sighed as she helped her daughter latching onto her breast. She stroke her hair, deep in thought. She wouldn't admit it, but it bothered her that she didn't know what was soothing her daughter best. She had spent a lot of time in the OR lately and Ross was constantly staying with her. She knew it would set him back a little but he insisted on it. _

"_What are you thinking about?" Shane asked as he watched Cristina. To him, she looked sad._

"_Nothing. It's silly." He knew better than to push right now. She would tell him when she was ready to talk about it._

"_Okay." He just said. She looked up and noticed that he was staring at her._

"_What?" She inquired. _

"_Huh?" _

"_You were staring at me. Or more like my boob."_

"_I wasn't staring at your… I was staring at Livie."_

"_Why?"_

"_Nothing just…"_

"_Out with it." Cristina demanded._

"_She could've been mine, you know."_

"_No she couldn't have. You and I we were long before that."_

"_No, I know, I'm just saying that there were like one or two times where we didn't… You know."_

"_Oh Shane you're cute." She grinned and she knew that he was blushing, even though she technically couldn't see it. _

"_I'm right though." He insisted. _

"_Shane I was on the pill." _

"_And then you stopped?"_

"_What? No, why?"_

"_Then how was she conceived?"_

"_Do you seriously want me to draw you a picture?" she smirked._

"_That was not what I meant. If you were on the pill and then…"_

"_I moved to Switzerland."_

"_What?"_

"_I'm saying I moved to Switzerland. Time zones. Jetlag. I forgot to take it."_

"_Oh… Okay."_

"_Curiosity satisfied?"_

"_Yeah. I'm sorry. I just…"_

"_It's fine."_

_Olivia was done eating and Cristina held her close to her chest, just to feel the warmth of her tiny body. Ross was about to take her, so that Cristina could go work again but she refused._

"_It's okay. Go. Be a surgeon. I can handle my daughter. Plus she is sick, and when you're sick all you want to do is to lie on top of your mommy and be cuddled." She smiled as she remembered Meredith's words. At the time she thought they were silly and Meredith was just being whiny but now she totally understood._

"_You sure?"_

"_Shane?"_

"_Yeah?"_

"_She's my daughter. I'll be fine."_

"_Of course I'm sorry." He gave them one last smile and turned around to walk away. Before he left he turned around again._

"_Try singing though. It works. She likes Disney songs."_

"_Disney huh?" She grinned as she rocked her daughter._

"_Frozen especially." Cristina raised her eyebrows again. "They're the only songs I know the lyrics to." She chuckled and made a mental note to learn some Disney songs. She had seen Frozen and it was actually a good movie, despite her aversion against all Disney movies. It was just different._

_Ross was still standing in the doorway. She could see in his eyes that there was a part of him that wished he was her dad, even though he would never in a million years admit that. But his eyes told her everything._

"_Bye Uncle Ross." Cristina said as she waved Olivia's arm. He smiled and walked away._

"_It's just us now baby girl. I think we need to spend more time together. I barely see you anymore. Seems like I'm going back to paperwork only for a while again huh." She said as she stood up and walked over to the huge window behind her desk. _

_As much as she wanted her career to thrive, she knew she had to put 'Mommy' before 'Dr. Yang' once again. And with that decision, Olivia took another piece of her. She wasn't sure if it was a good or a bad thing. _

XXXXX

"Mom? What happened?" Olivia asked as she saw her mother in her father's arms sobbing like a little baby. It made her worry. A lot. She had noticed that her mother was somehow acting different but she just blamed it on everything that had been going on in the past two months.

Cristina and Owen both hadn't noticed their daughter standing in the doorway. When they heard her voice they abruptly stood up straight and Cristina wiped the tears of her face.

"Nothing, honey. Everything's fine." Cristina tried to assure her daughter and pulled her into a hug. Olivia backed away and stared at her mother.

"Then why are you crying?"

"I'm just so happy." That was the best lie that came to Cristina's mind.

"So you're crying because you're happy?! I'm somehow not convinced." Cristina and Owen had to laugh involuntarily. Sometimes genetics were scary.

"I'm just happy. I have you and your father and we'll be a family and we'll be fine." She nodded, still tears in her eyes.

"Why wouldn't we be?" She asked, not quite sure what was going on. She let her mother pull her into a hug and hugged her back. She felt her father putting his arms around both of them.

"Yeah, our daughter is right Cristina, why wouldn't we be." He smiled and kissed Cristina on the forehead. She mouthed a 'thank you'. Olivia was still looking at her, waiting for a response.

Cristina smiled and took a breath. "Because life, life Olivia, is sometimes very complicated."

**A/N: New chapter, yay! I hope you like it and LEAVE A REVIEW because that's the best way to keep me motivated!**


	6. Arrangements

**A/N: So sorry for the delay! I was just really busy during the holidays. I hope you guys had nice holidays too! And thanks for all the kind reviews I loved reading them.**

"Are you picking me up today?"

"Probably yes, why?"

"Just asking." Owen noticed something in his daughter's voice. He knew that something was wrong.

"What is it honey?"

"Huh?"

"What's wrong? I know something is up. You have to same undertone in your voice as your mother when something is wrong." Owen smiled. Olivia and Cristina were very similar which wasn't surprising, considering that she had had the main influence in her life.

"Nothing. I just wish… I wish Mom would pick me up. No offense. I love you and you're my father and you're great and everything but..."

"But you miss your mom, don't you."

"Yeah I do. I mean she's been so busy lately. She's barely home and we hardly ever talk and I know, I know that she needs to find a replacement for her, but still. It would be nice if she would spend a little more time with me."

Owen knew what his daughter was feeling. She felt abandoned. The exact feeling Cristina had tried to keep her from for the past decade, and obviously managed to do so. He figured that since Owen was always around now, she got a little too comfortable. He needed to talk to her before Olivia would start resenting her.

"Tell you what. I'll pick you up from school today and then we go and get you Mom and _make _her leave the hospital. We'll have lunch together and make it a family afternoon. How does that sound?"

Olivia nodded, smiling through her teary eyes.

"Okay." Owen smiled and pulled her into a hug.

"Thank you you're a great… you're great." It didn't escape his notice that she almost called him 'Dad' but pulled it together at the last minute. Every time she avoided calling him 'Dad' it was like a knife hit his heart. He hadn't expected Olivia to just accept him as if nothing had ever happened, but he had hoped that they would be past most of their issues by now.

XXXXX

"Cristina we need to talk." Owen said as he stomped into her office. He was surprised to see that she was not alone. He would recognize that blonde head from anywhere.

_An hour earlier…_

Cristina was sitting behind her desk, going through applications of possible replacements. There were a few candidates she would eventually consider, but none of them would make her feel content with a decision. Suddenly there she heard someone knocking at her door.

"Come in." She said, not looking up.

"Cristina Yang as she lives and breathes." She heard a very familiar voice say. Cristina lifted her head abruptly and thought she was seeing a ghost. Her mouth dropped open.

"Well you could at least hug your favorite mentor."

"Teddy! What are you doing here?" She said still speechless as she got up and pulled her former boss and mentor into a hug.

"I was in town and I thought I'd stop by." Teddy stated casually as she sat down on the couch.

"Okay well, wow. How did you know I was here?"

"Hello? You made quite a name for yourself. The Great Cristina Yang. Everyone knows you. By the way I'm a little mad at you."

"Why?"

"You've lived here for ten years, and you never came to visit me. You know Germany is not that far from here. Same language even."

"I'm sorry I was busy and I needed a new start."

"New start huh?" Teddy said, her eyes lingering at the pictures of Olivia that were all over the office.

"Yeah…"

"Your daughter?" She asked, nodding towards the pictures.

"Yes. Olivia, she's nine."

"Congrats. She's really cute."

"Thank you."

Neither of them knew what to say next. It was a little awkward. Judging from the expression on Teddy's face, she knew that she had left Owen when she had moved to Zurich.

"Look Teddy, I…"

"Does Owen know? That you moved on?"

Cristina sighed. So she did know the story. Just not the whole story.

"I know it's none of my business… But Owen is my friend, and I don't know how much you know but he's not good and…"

"It's his daughter. Olivia, she's Owen's daughter."

Teddy was speechless and stared at Cristina.

"And before you can say anything, he knows. He is picking her up from school right now by the way. "

"I'm sorry. I – he never told me."

"Well maybe because he found out about three months ago."

"He didn't know?"

"No he didn't."

"Why?"

"The last thing I had heard was that he and Amelia were getting married and having a baby. I didn't know that they…"

"Okay."

"Yeah."

There was an awkward pause again.

"But apparently you're figuring things out."

"We're trying. I told him we'd move back to Seattle but now I'm having trouble finding someone to take over for me here and with the baby, it's… Complicated right now."

"Wait – baby?" Cristina bit her lip. She wasn't intending to say anything.

"Yeah… I'm pregnant."

"Oh my god Cristina that's amazing. Owen must be so happy." She screamed as she jumped up and pulled Cristina into a hug.

"Thank you. But that's one of the main reasons why I need to find a replacement like, now."

"So the rumors true then."

"What rumors?"

"That you're hiring a replacement because you're expanding to the US."

"Oh that. Yeah I guess that's true."

"And now I know why."

"Well I won't be expanding anything if I can't find someone to take over." She said a little frustrated.

"Teddy to the rescue. That's if you'll have me." Teddy said grinning.

"What?" Cristina looked at her, not wanting to believe what she just heard.

"I'm taking over for you. I'll manage Zurich and you go be happy with Owen."

"Teddy I don't know what to say…"

"Consider it a favor to an old friend."

"But your job at MedCon…"

"Don't worry about that." Cristina raised an eyebrow.

"What happened?"

"I… Nothing."

"Come on, you can tell me. After all you want me to hire you." She smirked.

"I got back together with Andrew. Two years after I moved. Everything was going great, we got married, and had kids, two, Henry and Sarah, but in the past few years our relationship just… We were growing apart. So we got divorced. Two weeks ago, I might add. And now… I just need to get away."

"Teddy I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It was for the best. I loved Andrew but Henry… He will always be the one. And he couldn't handle that."

"Well consider yourself the next chief of the Klausmann Institute, Zurich, Switzerland."

"Really?"

"Yes. I don't think there's anyone I'd rather have my hospital running than you."

"Thank you. Thank you so much."

"Are the kids living with you?"

"Yeah they are. Why?"

"Well I have something in mind…"

_Now…_

"Teddy? What are you doing here?" Owen said staring at the two women in front of him.

"Owen, she is going to take over for me. Teddy is my replacement."

"What?"

"You heard her Owen, I'm taking over for your wife."

"I'm not his wife."

"She's not my wife." They said at the same time.

"Fine whatever."

"But Andrew, the kids, MedCon…"

"Andrew and I are divorced. I need to get away from there. I need a fresh start."

"You got divorced? Why didn't you tell me?"

"Oh you're one to talk."

"What?"

"Olivia."

"That's… I only found out about three months ago. Things have been crazy I…"

"Okay, we all have things we didn't tell each other. Let's just leave it at that." Cristina interfered.

"Anyway, I have to go now. I have a train to catch."

"So you weren't in town, were you?" Teddy smirked.

"No, I wasn't I just needed the job." They both laughed. Teddy waved them goodbye and closed the door behind her.

"You wanted to talk to me about something?"

"Uh, yes."

"Well?"

"Livie."

"What about her?"

"She misses you. You have been so busy lately and she can sense the distance."

"I'm sorry that I'm trying to get our family back together."

"I'm not saying you did something wrong, I'm just telling you how our daughter feels."

"If you're trying to play the guilt card here…"

"I'm not. I'm simply telling you that she needs her mother."

"Every child needs their mother." She snapped. She knew only too well how Olivia was feeling at the moment. Even though her daughter wouldn't show her too often, she was a very sensitive person.

"Exactly. That's why I'm taking you with me right now to pick her up from school and then we'll have a family afternoon."

"Owen I have arrangements to make and…"

"Not today. Today you will put your family first. You will tell our daughter that you love her and that she is the most important thing in the world and that nothing will ever change that. You will pick her up from school with me and spend the afternoon with us until you bring her to bed tonight. You are going to do that, because if you don't… She will start to resent you. And you and I both know that you don't want that. Right?"

"Okay mister you stop it right there. I have done nothing but be there for her. I have supported her, I have loved her, I was there. For the past ten years I was there. And I'm sorry if I'm a little busy right now, but that's not on me. That's on you."

"Are you seriously blaming me for this?" Cristina sighed. She knew that he was right. She just didn't have the energy to deal with much else right now. She decided that this fight wouldn't take them anywhere so she decided to give in.

"No I'm… Let's just drop it and go pick her up okay?"

"Fine. But trust me she needs this."

"She's my daughter. I know what she needs."

"She is my daughter too."

**A/N: Thanks for reading I hope you liked it and LEAVE A REVIEW!**


	7. Lean On Me

Owen had decided to spend a couple of nights in Germany at Teddy's place in order to help her move all her stuff to Zurich. Cristina had seen this as a welcome opportunity to spend some quality – alone time with her daughter. Since Owen had become a part of their lives, things had changed quite drastically. Not in a bad way, but it was still a change. And she had become too comfortable. Owen had basically spend every day with Olivia. Alone. She had made the mistake of believing that Olivia would be as comfortable and familiar with him as herself. But she wasn't. To her daughter, Owen was basically a stranger. She didn't immediately realize that her baby girl needed her now more, not less.

So now they were lying next to each other in Cristina's king – sized bed. Olivia's head was resting on her mother's chest and she listened to her heartbeat. Cristina's arms were wrapped tightly around her daughter. She had missed this. She still didn't like to admit it, but in those silent moments, Olivia gave her the strength she so desperately needed now. She stroke her hair and held her tighter.

"Mom, if you're going to squeeze any harder I'll die from oxygen deprivation."

"Sorry." Cristina said and let go a little.

"Don't. It's okay…" Olivia said and Cristina could feel her hot tears on her shirt.

"Hey, Livvie, don't cry baby. What's wrong?" She said while sitting up and looking into her daughter's teary eyes.

"I don't know I just… I've missed this. Us being just us. I know that sounds horrible but I just missed you a lot." Olivia said, drying her tears with the sleeve of her shirt.

"I know and I'm so sorry that I wasn't there for you lately. I really am. But you know how stressful my work sometimes gets and I didn't think of how much it affected you this time because I thought you knew and understood. And you never said a word so…"

"Mom I do know that. And I don't know why it bothered me so much this time but it just did. So I'm glad that we're doing this right now. Just us."

Cristina bit her lip. What her daughter didn't know was that they weren't completely alone. There was someone else in the room who was not yet to be seen. But it would be cruel to tell Olivia now, when she needed to believe that her mother was there for her and her alone. Right? But sooner or later she had to tell her. And it should be rather sooner than later, Cristina figured. Olivia noticed her mother's face expression and looked at her curiously. There was something she wasn't telling her.

"Mom? Is there anything you want or need to tell me?"

"No." Was the first thing that left her mouth. Olivia raised an eyebrow. "Okay yes, but not tonight. Tonight is just us. You and me. Mother – daughter night." She said with a small smile on her lips.

"You sure. Because it might be better to tell me at night so that I can sleep on it and maybe be less pissed the next day." Livvie smirked.

"I'm sure. Now come here and hug your old mother." She said as she started tickling her.

"No stop please." Olivia laughed. It had been a while since she had seen her daughter this happy. It warmed her heart. And again she thought about how her life had played out so differently from what she had planned.

She pulled her daughter on top of her, so that her head was again resting on her chest. She had always liked that position. Even when she had been a baby, it somehow had always calmed both of them down.

"You're a good mom. I love you." Olivia said suddenly. Cristina was taken a little bit by surprise.

"I love you too. Don't ever forget that." Cristina said, a single tear rolling down her cheek.

They lay there in silence until Olivia fell asleep. Cristina considered putting her back into her own bed, but decided that they both needed each other's company tonight. She began to think about her past again.

Had she ever pictured herself in this position? Most certainly not. Would she have been happy without all that? Probably yes. She mentally punched herself for even thinking that. But then she was right, she probably would've been happy. Because she wouldn't know what she was missing. She breathed in the smell of her daughter's hair. She was so smart, and so beautiful. She was perfect. At least to her, she was perfect. The thought of ever not being with her made her throat close and she almost couldn't breathe. What was it about babies that makes one soft?

She closed her eyes and remember all the times she thought she wouldn't make it. And how something Olivia had done, each and every time, had made that thought go away in an instant. There was one particular night that came to her mind. She had to smile, remembering that event. Those were one of the moments she would never forget.

_It had been a very long, exhausting day. She had had more patients than she could handle, one of her new bioengineers had managed to break one of the printers and to make the day even worse, Ross had called in sick so she had to find someone to babysit her barely one year old daughter. She had just started walking so she had developed a habit of randomly throwing thing off of the place they belonged. And she had been teething a lot lately which made her pretty cranky. _

_Olivia was finally asleep and Cristina could feel a migraine creeping up on her. Perfect, just perfect. Suddenly she heard Olivia crying through the baby – monitor. This day can't get any worse. She managed to calm her daughter down pretty quickly. She sat down at the dinner table and buried her face in her hands. _

_What on earth had she done to herself? When she had told Owen all those years ago that she would indeed love her child, he hadn't understood what the problem was. But this, exactly the situation she was in right now, was her problem. She had called it. She loved her daughter, she really did, but then there were moments like that, when she thought how much easier her life would be without her. And she hated herself for even thinking that. Because it wasn't fair to her daughter. She deserved better. _

_Cristina started to cry. She needed something, someone to tell her that she wasn't as bad of a mother as she thought, that everything would be okay. That it was just one bad day. But lately there had been many bad days. She just couldn't do it anymore. She couldn't be both, the mother and the surgeon. She wanted to, she so desperately wanted to be able to be both. She believed that she was a better surgeon than she was a mother. And it broke her heart. Because this innocent child sleeping in a little crib upstairs had no one. She had an overstrained mother and no father. _

_Suddenly she heard tiny footsteps behind her. She turned around, her eyes still teary. She sighed. Olivia was standing there with her brown eyes wide, a pacifier in her mouth and her favorite blanket wrapped tightly around her. It was an adorable image. _

"_Why Mommy cying?" She lisped through the pacifier in her mouth. _

"_Nothing, honey, nothing." Cristina said, drying her tears._

"_But Mommy sad. Olisia don't like sad Mommy. Mommy happy wis Olisia." Livie said taking a step towards her mother. Cristina couldn't move. She knew that she should pick her up and take her back to bed, but right now, all she could do was sit there. _

_Olivia took step after step until she had reached her mother. She took her index finger and pulled at it. _

"_Look eyes Mommy." She stated in a serious tone that made Cristina chuckle. She lowered her head so that they were on the same eye – level. Olivia placed her tiny, chubby hand on her mother's cheek and smiled. They stared at each other deeply. It was like Olivia immediately knew what her mother needed to hear when she said,_

"_Mommy is best mommy in se world. Olisia love Mommy sooooooo much." She said while spreading her arms apart. "To se moon and back. Sisty sillion times." Olivia grinned. Cristina couldn't hold back her tears. This tiny gesture made her feel like she had done something right. Her daughter loved her. And that was the first time she had ever actually told her that. _

XXXXX

When Olivia woke up the next morning, she was alone in her mother's bed. She got up and searched the first floor. She was nowhere to be found. Then she heard the sound of plates clacking against each other downstairs. Livie found her mother in the kitchen, trying to make breakfast.

"Wow. Whatever you did, it's bad."

"Why? What would make you think that?"

"You're cooking. You hardly ever cook. Especially breakfast. You never _cook _breakfast."

"I wanted to make it special. It's mother – daughter weekend."

"Mom, please just tell me. Rip off the band – aid. No anesthesia."

Cristina had to smile. Olivia was definitely her daughter.

"Mom!"

"Sit down Olivia." She said with a serious face again.

"Okay… Now you're scaring me." She said as she slowly sat down.

"First of all, I want you to know, that I will always love you. That you will always going to be special to me, because you made me realize how important family was. That I could do it. I want you to know that. And nothing will ever replace you. Okay?"

"Okay… Why are you telling me this?" Olivia asked, a little hesitantly.

"Because… You are going to be an older sister pretty soon. And I want you to know that this baby won't take mine or your father's love for you away." She said with closed eyes. She was way too scared to look her daughter in the eye. When she finally did open her eyes, she saw Olivia staring at her in disbelief.

"You're having a baby?" Was the only thing she said.

"Yes."

"I'll get a sibling?"

"Yes."

"Wow."

"Trust me this took me as much by surprise as it did you." Cristina said, taking her daughter's hand. Olivia just nodded. Cristina feared the worst. Olivia stood up and hugged her mother tightly.

Cristina started to cry and pressed her daughter against her. They were half sitting, half standing there, leaning on each other for a little while, until Olivia broke the silence.

"I love you Mommy. You can do it."

"Thank you." Cristina whispered back. And somehow she knew that they would be okay. At least that was what she hoped.

**A/N: Thanks for the kind reviews. I hope you liked this chapter and LEAVE A REVIEW to let me know what you think. **


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